


Fear

by LowInHighSchool



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: M/M, Oops, this is quite dramatic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 13:17:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18250634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LowInHighSchool/pseuds/LowInHighSchool
Summary: Olivier's recurring nightmare has him terrified of losing Granit.





	Fear

**Author's Note:**

> don't even ask :') 
> 
> enjoy!!!
> 
> also i'm such a good adult i kinda flooded my bathroom -_-

‘and in short:  
I was afraid’  
-T S Eliot

 

_Oli’s running. He doesn’t know where he’s going but he knows what he’s going to find; the same thing as always. He’s had this dream so many times and it always ends the same, always, no matter how much he tries to change it, or even wake up._

_He finds it quite funny that his dreams have become self aware. He knows what he’ll find, yet he can’t stop running._

_He takes a deep breath as he opens the door in front of him and there he is. Granit. Lying on the floor, blood pouring out of his side. Oli can’t even see where it’s coming from. He’s dead and Olivier knows it._

_As always, he rushes over and tries to stop the bleeding. Breathes for him, pushes on his chest. It’s no good._

_And he knows it._

 

Olivier wakes up screaming. The covers are drenched with sweat and Granit’s staring at him.

“It happened again” Olivier says “Fuck it happened again”

Granit pulls him close and lets him catch his breath, he was used to this by now, it had happened twice already this week.

“It’s alright” Granit says “I’m alive” He moves his boyfriend’s hand above his heart “See?”

“I know” Olivier lets himself be comforted for a moment before the anxiety takes over “Why? I don’t get it. It’s got to mean something right?”

“Not really. Remember the time you kept having dreams about being chased by a yeti?”

“So?”

“It doesn’t mean anything. It just means you’re scared of losing me”

Olivier nods, he knows that would make sense. He was just so tired he wanted to sleep.

“Yeah” He says “Thank you”

“Go back to sleep now alright”

Olivier nods and lets Granit tuck him in, drifts into an uneasy sleep.

 

At first Olivier won’t leave Granit alone, constantly panicking when he’s not there, calling multiple times an hour. The nightmare hadn’t happened since but that doesn’t stop the thoughts and he even updates their security system, just in case. 

Even so, Olivier often wakes in a panic, unable to calm down until he knows Granit’s alive. Granit himself doesn’t help the matter, he was a deep sleeper, didn’t move, didn’t snore. In fact there had been a few times even before this had all started when Olivier had had to check his pulse, just in case. So yeah, Olivier had always been a bit paranoid, especially about Granit. 

Now that intensifies, much to the annoyance of Granit who had once again been woken up at 6am by Olivier shaking him.

“I’m alive” He mumbles sleepily.

“I know” Olivier says “I was just checking”

“Nothing’s going to happen. I didn’t get to sleep until 2”

“Are you feeling ok? Are you coming down with something?”

“No, I was just worrying about the match” Granit yawns and rolls over. 

“Breakfast?”

“You go, I wanna sleep”

“Yeah ok” Olivier reasons, in his dream Granit had been attacked. If Olivier was downstairs he would hear anyone breaking in. Unless they came through the window…

Before he can dwell on the thought he heads downstairs, but not before double checking the windows. He knows this is getting out of control, and he’s well aware of the strain it’s putting on them both, the sleepless nights, the constant checking where Granit was, watching the news just in case…

He passes a miserable few hours watching breakfast television until he can’t take it anymore. Granit should be down by now, sure he’d only gotten to sleep at 2 but…

He’s up the stairs before he can finish the thought.

“Granit?” He asks. No response. Logically he knows that’s normal; Granit could sleep through a nuclear war. But what if?

“Granit?” He asks again, shaking him gently, but nothing, not even a murmur. “Oh…no, Granit?!”

He’s frozen, was he breathing? He can’t tell. He rolls Granit on his back-is sure his arm moves by itself-but just in case…he can only calm down when he feels a strong heartbeat under his palm.

“Oli” Granit opens his eyes, puts his hand on top of Oli’s “I’m fine”

“I know”

“You don’t. Or you wouldn’t keep doing this”

“Yeah” Olivier looks defeated “I just don’t want to lose you”

“You won’t” Granit sits up in bed and Olivier sits next to him “You haven’t had that dream for ages”

“I can’t stop thinking about it”

“Oli please, I’m fine. I don’t know what else I can do. I can’t be with you all the time. The truth is, something could happen. To me, or to you. Or to anyone. No one knows. But you can’t let it bother you this much, you’ll drive yourself mad”

“But the dream…”

“I thought we talked about that”

“Yeah, we did. I’m sorry. I just love you so much, I couldn’t stand if you…”

“I won’t, not yet anyway.”

“Ok. Thank you, I’ll try and calm down”

“It’s ok. It’s cute you care so much”

“Of course” Olivier smiles before kissing his boyfriend.

 

He’s running again, but this time Olivier knows it’s not a dream. It’s far too real and anyway he hadn‘t had the dream for months. He’d had a nap on the coach but now he was definitely awake. 

It was his fault. 

He’d gone for a walk with the team (Granit had been too tired so had stayed to have a nap) and then returned to a text saying someone had been stabbed. 

He knew it was Granit. The hotel was too familiar. As soon as he’d seen the corridor outside their room he’d wanted to throw up. He didn’t want to worry Granit though, now he wishes he had. His head is pounding as he runs up the stairs praying this is a dream. It’s not. It’s far too real, it doesn’t feel like a dream at all. Laurent is running behind him and he wasn’t in the dream.

Maybe if he wasn’t on the verge of a panic attack he’d have noticed the details were different, meaning maybe Granit would be ok. But all he can focus on is the fact that Granit, his Granit, is hurt. Not dead, he wouldn’t allow himself to think that yet.

He reaches his and Granit’s room and opens the door. He’s lying there and Olivier feels the room spinning.

“I fucking knew it, I told him” He’s crying.

He knows what he needs to do, and he knows it won’t work, but he’ll do it anyway.

“Call a fucking ambulance” He shouts.

“It’s on its way” Laurent says.

Olivier moves to kneel by his boyfriend. The wound has stopped bleeding thankfully but he’s not breathing. 

Olivier scrambles for Granit’s wrist.

“He has a pulse. Oh my god”

Olivier’s in shock. This wasn’t how the dream went. While he’s glad, he’s also confused. What did this mean? Maybe he…

“Oli” Laurent’s shouting at him “He’s not breathing, Oli do something!”

This snaps Oli back into reality. He tilts Granit’s head back, checks his airway is clear.

“Alright, alright” He mumbles to himself before sealing his mouth over Granit’s and steadily breathing into his lungs.

He loses count of how long he’s sitting there, breathing for him, but soon he feels Granit’s lips moving.

“Granit?” Olivier sits back in shock “You’re ok?”

Granit smiles weakly and reaches for Olivier’s hand. It’s too much for Oli. The tears come once again and he can’t stop them, Granit just looks at him confused.

The moment is broken by two paramedics rushing in. Olivier goes to sit on the bed and breaks down.

“But he died” Is all he can say “He…he died”

“He didn’t” Laurent puts his hands on Oli’s shoulders “He’s alive, he’s ok”

“But…the dream”

“It doesn’t mean anything, he’s alive”

“He’s alive. Oh my god” Olivier shakes his head as the reality hits him “He’s alive”

“He is” Laurent pulls Olivier into a hug and just lets him cry “Come on, lets go see him, you’ll feel better”


End file.
